Surgery “Who am I”. What do I know about me? What am I?
From time to time, you have the need for self-analysis and you are reflecting on yourself. You then carry out the secret operation “Who am I?”. What do I know about me how I am? How much do I know? Do I know what drives my behavior? Why am I behaving this way?
You know this situation very well. The time of your annual performance review at work is approaching and you promise yourself that this time you will ask your boss for your salary raise. In the end, he praised you for the last project that ended with a huge success. Not surprising, because you spend so many hours working overtime on it, like an exemplary corporation employee, neglecting your private life. Maybe you missed the best date of your life because of it, or maybe just a movie night with your hubby.
Anita from the desk next to you has a conversation at the same time as you. However, she doesn’t seem to care too much about it. Does she ever get upset about anything? You often think about it. She does worse at work than you do, but she doesn’t seem to care about it all. You both complain about the pay rise system in the company, but objectively speaking, among you two you are the one who should get the raise. You give a lot more from yourself in this job than her.
So you want to prepare for the talk. You practice the whole course of the conversation every day, prepare a list of all arguments and wait for you to win. He won’t have an option, he will have to give you the raise.
Finally, the time of your annual review is coming.
In a fighting mood, you are walking towards your manager’s office. But as soon as you cross the doorstep, all your courage vanishes somewhere…. You can’t say a word out of what you have prepared yourself, although you know exactly what you want to say to him. You are only silently nodding your head when he says how difficult times for the company have come and that he is so sorry but he will not be able to give you a raise. He praises you, of course, he is satisfied with your work, but you have to forget about the wage hike this year, in the end, he only throws: “Keep up the good work!” and you leave the office disappointed and angry on yourself, that you did not succeed again.
Sometime after, Anita pours fuel on the fire, when she runs out of the boss’s office, so happy because she’s got the raise. Apparently she fought for it like a lion. She almost pulls it out of his throat. Maybe it is not too impressive, but at least she got something. Blood floods you, you are so angry with yourself. Why can’t you be like her, brave and successful? So many self-development courses, so many hours of training and nothing?
Why are you just like what you are like?
Sometimes you would like to be a bit bolder or maybe more pragmatic than you are. You try to control yourself, but your true nature always wins. But what does true nature really mean? What is true for you and what is not? What makes you exactly that, and not different? Why do you react like this and not in a different way in a specific situation? Where did your personality come from and what shaped it? Why do you have such a personality and not another personality? Why aren’t you alike your parents or siblings? Why does your partner have a different personality than you? Who decides about it? How did it happen?
Who chose all these advantages and disadvantages for you and what was the main reason for the choice? Current trends probably not, because sometimes you get the impression that you do not completely fit today’s world. Genes probably also not, because sometimes you wonder if you are not adopted, you are so different from the rest of the family. And these flaws couldn’t be less bothersome or a bit less flawed? Probably no one matched the appearance either, otherwise, where do the pugnacity and self-confidence come from in the little and filigree Anita?
What are you like? What can you say about yourself?
“I am who I am.
An unsuccessful case
as every case”.Wisława Szymborska „In a shake” .
Neurobiology estimates that 95% of human brain activity is adaptive unconsciousness. This means that you do act automatically, including talking for example. Much of what you say in casual conversation comes automatically. How many times have you wished you hadn’t said something? Your behaviors are also automatic. We are all programmed and conditioned in a way mainly through interaction with others. But each of us also has some default or “factory” settings that you should know to understand yourself, to increase your awareness and become a better person.
The soul plans its life chooses several attributes of personality, called overlays that overlap your essence.
Something like those overlays you put on your Facebook profile picture. In the picture it’s you but with the overlay some much prettier. These include your main goal (motivator of action), mode (the dominant mode of action), attitude (the way you perceive life), the centering (the part of you that you usually respond from) the chief feature or character flaw. They are to help it achieve it’s a life goal.
This set of overlays the soul changes from life to life to provide itself a variety of experiences and evolve. So in other words, you have a different personality in every incarnation. These overlays are part of a comprehensive plan of life that the soul creates for each new incarnation. The soul chooses them for this plan. These overlays are kind of tools which the soul uses to experience life on a physical plane with all its emotions, sensations and chills.
You can compare it to a computer game in which you choose your avatar – your virtual identity. You get a basic template of your player and you choose specific characteristics for it such as size, shape, hair color, clothes, etc. You can also choose specific features of its character like courage, diligence, persistence, etc. These characteristics will determine the actions and reactions of your character and will effect the character of the whole game.
Understanding how your overlays work in this game of life will help you increase your tolerance and acceptance, both for yourself and others, because it will help you realize how others work in life. They will also provide you with information on how you decided to experience life before reincarnation.
These overlays are also something that makes you unique. This is one of the typologies that you should know striving for self-realization. They constitute a sort of a road map of what it means to be a human being and how to act accordingly.
- Goal – affects what you do,
- Mode – shows how you do it,
- Attitude – shows why you do it,
- Centering- shows which part of yourself do it,
- Chief feature or a character flaw – shows what blocks or distorts your action,
It provides you with a clear motivation, pushing your choices in the direction of your plan of life. It’s your driving force. Your preferred result in all situations. It shapes your choices in life. It is both a goal and a personal challenge e.g. domination.
Gives you a different way of acting in various decisions that are consistent with your plan of life. It is your way of expressing yourself. Your usual way of doing things like caution.
Adds a clear interpretation to your perception, which is consistent with your plan of life. It is your view of life, a philosophical style. Your normal way of perceiving things. e.g. idealism.
Centering, on the other hand, is a quick and easy way to respond to direct experiences. It determines how you experience life moment by moment. It’s your operation centre.
Chief features or character flaw.
Emerge from your growing fears and insecurities, which has a negative impact on your choices. This is your main overriding character defect. Everyone has it.
Three of these overlays are already established at the time of your birth as a goal, mode, and attitude. The other ones are shaped during your life.
Of course, as happens in the dual world, each of these overlays also has two poles: negative and positive. For example, domination in the positive sense is leadership and in the negative is a dictatorship. The negative poles are similar to the concept of the Jung Shadow Self and relate to the zone of false personality, or area in the psyche, where the incarnating soul is temporarily disconnected from the essence.
As with soul types, there are 7 goals, modes, attitudes, etc. You will learn them in detail in subsequent articles.
So it turns out that it is not entirely your fault that you are not like Anita. You are just different because the soul of each of you has chosen a different set of overlays in this life. But once you recognize your set, you will know how to react in the future and what to do with it, how to use it. It will also help you better understand others because although we are all so different in some ways we are all the same.
Understanding why you like certain things is very helpful and even crucial in self-development. That is why I often perform surgery on who I am, what I know about me and how I am, and you?