Passion and desire are inherent in human nature. The word desire comes from the Latin word luxus, meaning “abundance” or “exuberance.” Lust is a strong desire for something or a physical attraction to someone. It comes when you overcome your shame, guilt, regret, and fear. This emotion is very strongly related to dopamine and the reward and pleasure centers of the human brain. This is what controls your motivation and behavior. This mechanism, as you know, is part of the mammalian brain. It evolved to increase the likelihood of behavior beneficial to the organism’s survival. So, lust is a function of the ego whose purpose is to keep you alive, either by providing yourself with abundance in the form of food or by expanding your genetic makeup.
In this article you will learn:
- What desire is and what it depends on.
- How pornography affects your sex life.
Desire is related to lasciviousness, that is, devotion to lust. An unloved desire to possess or experience something. Strong physical attraction. They are also thoughts and feelings that lead to using oneself, other people, or objects for self-destructive and selfish purposes. It is possessiveness and rage that lead to sexual abuse such as rape, adultery, and prostitution.
Sexual desire is fueled by pornography, i.e. content that exposes sexuality out of all contexts.
They dehumanize intimacy and interpersonal relationships to induce sexual arousal in the recipient. Porn trains its viewers to see men as sexually active and dominant. And the women are submissive and passive. And it also eroticizes these sexual relations of domination and submission. In times of easy and quick distribution of pornography over the Internet, it often plays the role of sexual education.
Many men, when viewing such images of domination and hatred of women, fail to distinguish fantasy from reality and feel that this is exactly what women should want from men. The greater and more frequent the dopamine spike associated with watching pornography, the greater the sense of reward and pleasure, and thus the greater the risk of addiction or the fixation of certain behavior patterns. In this way, pornography permanently modifies the consumer’s thinking and emotional responses. Therefore, it has a toxic effect on humans. Such an increase in dopamine supply also causes changes in the human value system, in distinguishing between what is good and what is bad.
Pornography is a very profitable field of business.
In the United States alone, this market is estimated at $ 97 billion. Nowadays, our first contact with such content is at the age of 11. There are nearly 400 million websites with pornographic content. Half of the time on the internet globally is related to viewing sexually explicit content. Pornography creators and distributors are completely unconcerned about the social damage it causes, but they enjoy watching the multiplication of profits on their bank accounts. Even more so, they don’t care about you and your path to enlightenment through sexuality.
Meanwhile, pornography stifles and limits your sexual imagination and dulls your creative abilities.
It detaches sexual activity from the aspect of building a relationship with another human being. It ignores love, tenderness, sensitivity, and intimacy and depreciates the role of foreplay in the sexual act. Instead, it glorifies ejaculation as the highest form of orgasm, thus depriving you of your vital energy. It leads to erectile dysfunction during sexual intercourse. Pornography weakens honesty and openness and introduces an element of competition in relationships. It lowers the sense of attractiveness of your own body as well as your partner’s body because you always compare their body to the bodies of actors who play in porn movies.
It changes your tastes, habits, and needs spreading new moral norms. Porn is conducive to random sexual activity. It promotes aggression and reduces the ability to love and the need for bondage. Sex in porn films leaves out subtle and profound sensations. It even multiplies the number of people affected by various sexual deviations. In addition, the internet algorithms that shape your spending habits daily are also used to shape your sexual desires. What you are probably not aware of. Today, desire has been commercialized and has become an effective instrument of manipulation and profit.
Lust causes arousal.
Arousal is an emotional state associated with the body’s physiological response – an increase in blood pressure. It is caused by the body’s production of adrenaline, which makes you feel euphoric. The condition usually appears after anxiety has been overcome. It is an animation and a state of nervous tension and sensual arousal. Excitement, on the other hand, leads to a sexual act that results in the release of sexual energy, and thus an orgasm.
The prerequisite for successful sex is closeness and intimacy, i.e. a successful relationship with another person.
To really desire another person, you first need to relax your body and mind. The condition for arousal is, above all, trust in your partner and a positive attitude about your own body. Although sometimes you may also need a vacation from everyday life or, for example, a massage. The basis of ecstatic sex is, above all, love. Love for yourself, for your own body, and love for your partner. And the willingness to experience pleasure together with another person.
Sex life reflects the state of your life.
Especially your emotions and relationships with other people. Who you are and what you’ve experienced have a huge impact on your sexuality. Bad experiences and traumatic experiences related to sex can weaken your desire. So are negative beliefs, such as the belief that your genitals are dirty or that sex is wrong. Or expectations for sex, based on the unrealistic sex model you know from Hollywood movies – fast and mechanical sex that millions of people around the world are consciously or unconsciously trying to imitate. And, your self-esteem.
To fully enjoy a satisfying sex life, you need to become aware of your past experiences and then work through all the difficult and frightening feelings associated with them. None of us have only positive sexual experiences. Working through traumas releases natural joy and natural desire. Likewise, deciding never to have sex if you don’t feel like it. Sex without excitement can be painful, it can also cause various kinds of numbness or disconnection from physical and emotional sensations. Satisfying sex life is, above all, respect for your needs and for your body resulting from love for yourself.
Each of us has experienced physical or emotional suffering, betrayal or departure of a partner, bouts of anger or aggression, and disappointment in our lives.
Whoever gets burned once tends to be overly cautious, thus protecting themself from pain. However, in an intimate relationship, such an attitude makes it impossible to build the closeness necessary to create a real relationship and experience a passionate experience. You need trust and openness to the other person. It is especially important to talk about your feelings about sex with your partner. Speaking directly about what you want, as well as patience and understanding. You should not pretend to be lustful and orgasmic for the sake of your partner or agree to sexual experiments despite yourself. When you do this, you habituate your body to sexual sensations without desire and thereby train your genitals to numbness. They are touched but perceive no stimuli. Then the sensitivity of your genitals decreases.
If sensations weaken or pain occurs during sex, stop, and change the simulation. If you lose your emotional connection with your partner, stop, and look yourself in the eye to restore it. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself and with your feelings, because only then will you be able to discover complete satisfaction.
Desire is weakened by poor health, chronic diseases, hormonal problems, and lack of exercise.
And ingested herbs, medications, depression and anxiety, aches and pains, and vaginal infections. Fatigue, stress, tension, and the distribution of duties are also enemies of desire. Therefore, take care of regular exercise, make changes in your diet. Put away the stimulants. Prevent depression and anxiety. When you are happy, rested, relaxed and healthy, you live in a good relationship that supports you, desire appears naturally.
Desire can be strengthened by stimulating the brain with your imagination. Some women even come to orgasm under the influence of sexual fantasies. The key is to free your imagination and stop censoring it. New products also fuel the desire, e.g. changing the environment or introducing props.
Desire helps in achieving orgasm, and arousal is a prerequisite for it.
Mantak Chia Maneewan Chia Douglas Abrams Rachel Carlton Abrams “The Multi-Orgasmic Couple” („Sekrety wielokrotnych orgazmów. Multiorgazmiczna para.”), Wydawnictwo Czarna Owca, Warszawa 2009.
Mantak Chia Maneewan Chia „Healing Love Through The Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy” („Miłosny potencjał kobiety. Miłość uzdrawiająca.”), Jacek Santorski & Co Agencja Wydawnicza, Warszawa, 2006.
Mantak Chia Michael Winn „Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy”(„Miłosny potencjał mężczyzny. Miłość uzdrawiająca”), Jacek Santorski & Co Agencja Wydawnicza, Warszawa, 2006.
Mantak Chia Douglas Abrams „The Multi-Orgasmic Man: How any Man Can Experience Multiple Orgasms and Dramatically Enhance his Sexual Relationship” („Mężczyzna Mulitiorgazmiczny. Jak mężczyzna może ulepszyć swoje życie seksualne.”), Wydawnictwo Czarna Owca, Warszawa 2012.
Mantak Chia Rachel Carlton Abrams „The Multi-Orgasmic Woman: Discover your Full Desire, Pleasure and Vitality”(„Kobieta Multiorgazmiczna. Jak odkryć w sobie pełnię pożądania, rozkoszy i witalności. „), Wydawnictwo Czarna Owca, Warszawa 2012.
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