Learn the 7 habits of conscious living.
Since you are not what you feel, and you are not your mood, neither are your thoughts. So who are you? You have an animal self, but you are not an animal. What distinguishes you from the animal world is your ability to feel deeply thought processes, i.e. self-awareness. Thanks to it, man has dominated the other creatures of the world and it is the cause of great advances for mankind. It also allows you to benefit from other people’s experiences as well as your own. Thanks to it, you can go beyond yourself, take a look at yourself, and you can create habits that favor you or eradicate those that do not serve you.
You have freedom of choice, the fundamental basis of human nature. An imagination that allows you to create in your mind something outside of your present reality. You also have a conscience, which is an inner awareness of what is good and what is bad. Even the most intelligent animal lacks any of these qualities. So get to know the 7 habits of conscious living.
In this article you will learn about 7 habits of conscious living:
- Loving others.
- Strengthening yourself.
Animals cannot take responsibility for their behavior and cannot direct it. They are not even aware of their behavior, so much less can they change it. You can. Regardless of your instincts, conditions, collective memory, social mirrors, past experiences, or type of habits, you can consciously change yourself at any time in your life. You just have to want to do it. Your options are limitless, so you should take advantage of them, otherwise, you will remain as limited as the animals.
The neocortex, or the brain of primates, is responsible for these possibilities. With it, you can decide if you want to change your habits and make a change. You have the power to change your world, so take advantage of it.
You are responsible for your happiness.
Of course, knowing that you do not have to be your whole life as nature or conditioning made you is a natural consequence of your growth. Throughout your life, you develop from dependency, through independence to interdependence. You start your life as an infant completely dependent on another human being who feeds you and cares for you so that you can survive. You wouldn’t have survived otherwise by yourself. Over time, however, you become more and more independent physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. You take care of yourself and guide yourself. Eventually, as you grow and mature, you realize that everything in nature is based on interdependence. You discover that you need relationships with others to get what you need. Until you finally see that by combining talents and actions with others, you are able to create something bigger and more wonderful.
Thanks to the cooperation, you can change the world.
However, in order to effectively change your world, you should, first of all, recognize your paradigms, i.e. assumptions that affect your attitude, behavior, reality, and values. Recognize your perception, understanding, and interpretation of reality. In order to take responsibility for them and create a more objective point of view. It is very important when you want to change your life qualitatively. Why? Because the way you see the problem is your problem, not the problem itself. For example, if you want a happy family, you need to be happy yourself, not look for a happy family.
Once you recognize them, i.e. you will know what and why you want to change, you still need to know how to do it effectively. The 7 habits of effective action will help you in this, which, according to Stephen R. Covey, are:
1. Proactivity – you are the creator of your life.
The habit is about taking the initiative, that is, taking responsibility for your own life. Understanding that your behavior depends on your own decisions and not on conditions and conditions. You create circumstances and develop initiatives and actions.
All the problems you face every day, either:
- they concern your behavior and are therefore subject to your control (habits).
- are related to the behavior of others, so they are indirectly controlled by you (by changing the way they interact).
- they are out of your control (in which you are responsible for changing your attitude towards them, e.g. smile, peace or genuine letting go).
Being proactive will allow you to resolve all of them within your circle of influence. If you want to improve your situation, work on what you have control over – yourself.
However, you must remember that when choosing an action, you cannot choose its consequences, because they are governed by natural laws. Living in harmony with these laws has positive consequences, and violating them has negative consequences. By taking control of your life, you can also make promises and keep them, or set a goal and work towards achieving it, or not. You become the creator of your own life, not its passive performer.
2. Leadership – first creation, the mental process of creating, starting with a vision of the end.
To understand where you are now and if you are going in the right direction, you need to know where you are going. You must understand your own destiny and see life as a whole. You must have an internal compass to guide your actions so that you can guide yourself. When you know what is most important to you and you have this vision in your head, you will always do what really matters to you. You will get the right perspective. Everything arises first in your mind and only later on the physical plane. This is the creation process.
You live by the script handed over to you, but when it turns out that your scenario does not benefit you or contains deeply entrenched habits without value, you can create a new, more effective one yourself. You can create a scenario that uses your full potential instead of living in the past that restricts you.
But to know if you are going in the right direction, you need to know where you are going. You have to define your life mission, philosophy, and life credo. In order to know who you want to be, what to achieve in life, and what to stick to. In this way, you will build a life based on the four most important factors: security, guidance, wisdom, and power. You have to create your values and know where they come from.
It happens that you live for years with the chronic pain of a lack of vision of your goals, and the ability to lead and manage your life. Perhaps you even make efforts to reduce the pain at times. However, the constant pain makes you slowly get used to it and learn to live with it. Treating the symptoms themselves does not bring results, but masks the causes of the pain.
3. Self-management, i.e. doing what is most important first.
It’s a habit of putting it into practice. Fulfillment in practice. Physical creation. Make decisions and act on them. Implementation of programs. A sense of honor towards yourself and the ability to keep your promises to yourself. Internal discipline and consistency. Setting your priorities. Free will facilitates self-management. Doing things in the right order. Being able to say no and decide what matters most to you.
Every day, even several times a day, you say yes or no to different things. Focusing on the right rules and on your individual mission will give you the opportunity to make the right choices. The way you spend your time is a result of the way you see it and how you perceive your priorities.
4. Loving Others – Thinking in terms of win-win.
This habit says that self-control and self-discipline are the basis of good relations with others. Love yourself before you love others. If you don’t know yourself, you don’t have control over yourself, if you don’t like yourself, you don’t respect yourself, you are not truly independent. This means that developing skills in interpersonal relations, i.e. interdependence, will not work for you. You will not be able to build a solid foundation for interdependence based on personality ethics, that is, learned techniques of interpersonal relations. They can only arise from who you really are inside of you. Based on your character. Only then will you be able to build meaningful and fruitful relationships with others.
Understanding the individuality of others. Avoiding inference and projection about other people’s needs. Avoid assigning one’s own intentions to others. Attention to minor matters, kindness, and courtesy. Keeping commitments. The clarity of expectations. Avoiding assuming that your expectations are obvious, properly understood, and shared by others. Honesty, that is, showing internal consistency. Adjusting reality to your words, keeping and keeping your promises. Honesty, as well as loyalty to the absent. Treating everyone according to the same set of rules. Avoiding lying. Sincerely apologizing. Admitting a mistake.
The law of love and life. Real enhancement of the natural development process of others. Providing a sense of security to others. Giving others the freedom to act in accordance with their internal dictates. Loving others no matter what.
When you move from independence to interdependence, you assume the role of a leader. You begin to influence others. You start to lead them. Therefore, it is very important to do so on a solid foundation that comes from your character.
There are 6 models of human relations:
- win-win – is about seeking mutual benefits in all interactions. This attitude is about character. Internal consistency, maturity, i.e. a balance between courage and prudence, between ego and empathy, and an abundance mentality. The latter means the belief that all good is enough for everyone. It comes from deep inner self-esteem and security. Effective collaboration benefits everyone involved.
- win-lose – this is an authoritarian approach, often using force, connection, financial capacity, or personality strength to ensure a win.
- lose-win – an approach based on popularity and acceptance, the need to remain a nice person. It is capitulation, resignation, and submission to the will of others. Lost when confronted with the ego of others. People with such an approach to interpersonal relationships most often suffer from psychosomatic diseases, especially diseases of the respiratory, nervous, and blood systems. They are caused by unexpressed feelings: accumulated resistance, deep disappointment, or lost delusions. They often cause anger inadequate to the situation, violent reactions for trivial reasons, or cynicism.
- lose-lose – an approach based on stubbornness, ruthlessness, and an interest only in oneself. Characteristic of people with a high degree of addiction, the unhappy.
- win – attitude focused on securing one’s own position and leaving others to take care of themselves.
- win-win or we do no business – if it is not possible to find a mutually beneficial solution, both parties agree not to enter into any transaction.
The choice of approach depends on the circumstances and the correct reading of reality. A win-win approach, however, based on the foundation of character and trust allows for mutual learning, communication, and real creativity. It is therefore the key to success in dealing with other people.
5. Communication – trying to understand first and then be understood.
This habit is the ability to communicate, which is the most important principle in life. Most people, unfortunately, do not listen with the intention of understanding only to answer. They prepare to respond by filtering everything through the prism of their own experiences. This way, they will never really know the inside of another person. Most often they either ignore what the interlocutor says without listening to him at all, or pretend that they are listening or listen selectively. Meanwhile, the key is listening carefully, based on empathy and intention to understand. Taking the point of view of the interlocutor. See the world the way the other person sees it. Complete emotional and intellectual understanding. Deep communication with the human soul.
The autobiographical way of listening causes you to respond according to one of four patterns:
- judging – you agree or not, with the interlocutor,
- polling – that is, you ask questions from your own point of view,
- advising, i.e. give advice based on your own experience,
- interpreting – you try to explain the interlocutor’s motives and behavior based on your own motives and behavior.
Empathetic listening is not easy and takes time. However, it allows you to avoid misunderstandings, reversing and canceling words, and living with unresolved problems. As you learn to listen deeply to other people, you will see the way you see them change.
Once you understand, try to be understood. By presenting your ideas clearly, accurately, and vividly, while understanding the interests of the interlocutor, you increase the credibility of your message. The more you truly understand other people, the more you will appreciate them and the more respect you will have for them. You will touch the soul of another person.
6. Synergy – opening up to the new.
This habit is opening the heart, mind, and expression to new possibilities. The term synergy means that the whole is more than the sum of its parts. An example of synergy is the way a child is brought into the world by a woman and a man. The baby is a new quality, a whole made of two other parts.
The more authentic you are, the more openly you express yourself. Then others can relate to your statements and the safer they feel expressing themselves. This subsequent self-expression serves as food for the spirit of others and produces sincere empathy that creates new insight, learning, excitement, and adventure that sustain the process. A new world of insight into new perspectives and possibilities opens before you.
Synergy produces better solutions than any of the originally proposed and everyone involved is aware of it. It also brings you the joy of participating in the creation process. The essence of synergy is to appreciate mental, emotional, and psychological differences. You don’t see the world as it is, but as you are. Your perception is conditioned by your experiences and lack of data. As long as you do not appreciate the differences in worldview between you and others, you will not value each other and believe that there is a possibility that each of you is right. You may find that life is not always an “either” or “or”, and there is always a third way out until you never go beyond that conditioning.
7. Developing yourself.
The last habit is self-empowerment. Renewing the Four Dimensions of Your Nature:
- physical – exercise, nutrition, stress control, caring for your body, rest and relaxation, caring for your endurance and flexibility.
- socio-emotional – serving, empathy, synergy, inner sense of security.
- spiritual – clear values, devotion, study, meditation. Taking care of your value system is the core of who you are.
- mental – reading, visualizing, planning, writing.
The most serious investment in your existence is investing in yourself. The device you use to operate. In order for it to be effective, you must regularly take care of it in each of the above dimensions.
Inner peace is the result of living in accordance with true principles and values.
Habits 1-3 give you an inner core – a center of principles that allows you to take control of emerging vulnerabilities with calm and strength. The more proactive you are, the more effectively you direct yourself and manage your life. When you manage yourself more effectively, you have more time to spend on renewing the four expressions of your nature. The better you try to understand others, the better your efforts will end in achieving a win-win attitude. The better you master your independence habits, the better you will be in situations of interdependence. And renewal will allow you to renew all other habits.
When you renew the physical dimension, you are strengthening your personal vision (habit one). By renewing the spiritual dimension, you strengthen your self-management (second habit). And when you renew the mental dimension of your life, you strengthen self-management (third habit).
7 habits of conscious living mean that you are a proactive creator of yourself, you lead others with your own example, and you manage yourself by loving others to create something new and strengthen yourself.
Stephen R. Covey “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, („7 nawyków skutecznego działania”), REBIS, Poznań, 2003.