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What is the midlife crisis for a woman?

by Agata Dzierżawa
A graphic depicting a woman in her midlife crisis with a snail on her head.

What does the midlife crisis look like?

What is the midlife crisis for a woman? It is not that a day comes in when everything ends, like a border date or something. No, it is not like that. The first subtle signals begin to reach you much earlier. You just do not recognize them yet. The alarm lamps do not light.

Your relationships with friends begin to change.

One day you just noticed that a friend who you chatted through half of your life with, somehow no longer gives the same wavelength as you. Your friendship is falling apart. You do not understand each other as you used to before. Somehow, all the news that she has to tell you is not interesting to you anymore. And outside of them, you do not have anything to talk about. Naturally, the relationship begins slowly to fade. You regret it a bit, but you feel that is not a convertible process, that it must be so.

Your social life is weakening.

You stop socializing with such intensity as before. Parties are not fun for you, they always have the same scheme. A hangover is worse than it used to be and it lasts longer every time, so you avoid alcohol. Loud music annoys you. You prefer staying longer in bed instead of dancing all night long. Friends appear boring, they live their own lives and don’t care about you and your staff. Conversations are so predictable.

Entertainment is changing.

Shopping also doesn’t bring you joy anymore. Your wardrobe is bursting at the seams, and each new item is alike. Another story that you are unable to catch up with the constantly changing trends anymore…

Guys, likewise don’t turn you on, there is no difference between them for you. They are all the same and always the same drama. It doesn’t matter to you if you are single or in a relationship. Tinder doesn’t excite you anymore. Sometimes you only swipe left just to exercise your fingers or to kill boredom… Parents have stopped deluding themselves that they will have a son-in-law. Nobody asks if you have a boyfriend.

Travels are also boring. Everywhere the same crap. You see everything and have the impression that nothing will surprise you anymore. But you also notice that more often you choose destinations where you can be closer to nature instead of handsome backpackers.

Cultural events, movies, books – everything repeats itself, you are getting more demanding and it is more difficult to please you. 

A career is not enough.

Career – you love your job. You are quite successful in this field, but the routine slowly kills you. You can’t imagine yourself in the same role in the next 40 years. At the same stage, you also notice that you are not the youngest in your team anymore. Each newly hired person could be technically your daughter or son…

Your beauty is changing.

So you look at the mirror, your hair is more rampant than it used to be, but unfortunately the facial hair…. You had stopped counting wrinkles some time ago. Boobs seem to enjoy gravitation. You don’t call your grey hair silver thread anymore. You put on weight faster and can’t lose it quickly. Slowly you start saying goodbye to your beauty, attractive shape, and juvenility. But when it will all go, what will stay?

Everything bores you.

Boredom is at each corner. Nothing happens. Will it be like that for the next 40 years? Does your life have any sense at all? Eat, work, sleep, eat, work, sleep, etc…

Every day, the ground begins to escape more and more from under your feet. You feel you are stuck, but you do not know why. You start to get the impression that nothing makes sense anymore. 

You look at life differently.

So you start these existential considerations in your head. You start to think about your life until now. Over what you have achieved so far. What else would you like to do? How much time have you left? What is important to you and what is not? What do you need? What do you miss? What does hurt you? Do you know where you are going?

You are drowning, but from the outside, everything looks ok. Nobody understands what you are going through. It’s all happening in your head. Everything looks the same as before. It is just your inner world falling apart.

Besides that, you start noticing that your youthful values, ideals, principles, and dreams have been muted a long time ago for some reason. They have been moved to a background and instead, you are fulfilling somebody’s visions and expectations.

But if you do not live your life, whose life do you live? Or maybe it is not you who lives this life, but someone else? Is it still you or not? If not you then who is it?

Who is the woman? Do you know her? You don’t recognize her anymore.

Who are you? How to find yourself? 

So what is the midlife crisis for a woman? It is a slow process of discovering yourself again. You do it much more carefully than before, using all your life experience.  You want to know yourself.


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Aleksandra 04 July 2019 - 20:29

Time to discover myself again, yes indeed.., but as you said, this time I will be more mindfull and will listen more carefully.. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Agata 05 July 2019 - 09:05

Good luck!


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