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How to find the meaning of life? My self demands attention!

by Agata Dzierżawa
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A graphic how to find the meaning depicting a volcano of thoughts.

Who are you? Why are you here? Where are you going? What are you looking for? How to find the meaning of life?

Up to now, you didn’t ask how to find the meaning of life or any other of these questions. And even if so, just for a moment… You were too busy with other things: manicure, pedicure, shopping, wine with a friend, or a new romance…


Well, maybe not exactly like this, but everything you’ve done so far has been connected with fulfilling the assigned roles to you. You were busy playing your roles, absorbing norms and rules on how to act in society. You educated yourself, met people, learned how to act in relationships, tried facing up your sexuality, set up family, developed your career, enjoyed life. You were creating your social “self”.

All your attention was directed into the external world.

No, it’s not because your internal world did not exist. The aim was to gather experiences to use in the future.

However, when you reach half of your life you start getting the impression that you accomplished all your tasks. The time approaches when you start noticing that your possibilities and needs are much bigger than the ones coming from the social roles you were playing. Being only a good employee, parent, friend, or another member of society is not enough for you. You are starting wondering how to find the meaning of life.

You start verifying the way you think and act.

You move your attention inside and start dealing with your existential questions. Everything that was bringing you joy and what was the essence of your being is not enough anymore. So you begin experience emptiness and this causes you to seek a sense.

You shouldn’t worry with this state, it is a natural maturity process, mentioned already by a few philosophers or psychologists. You didn’t discover America here.

You are developing.

Seeking the sense of your existence you start looking inside you, recognize yourself from pieces. You identify new abilities and possibilities you didn’t recognize before. Attributes and needs you haven’t noticed before. Your true self calls you.

You question all your beliefs.

You catch the ones somebody uploaded to you (parents, teachers, friends, politics, media) verify them and change if necessary. You don’t let anyone program you anymore. You already know yourself. You know what is yours and what is not.

You start aiming for authenticity.

Losing masks, everything that is safe and socially comfortable. You focus on discovering the truth about yourself. You stop caring about somebody’s opinion about you, more important for you is your self-evaluation.

Thanks to the process you develop new areas of creativity in yourself and start using the potential. You change perspective, broaden your horizon. You try finding a deeper sense of life.

You miss your soul.

You have the faith that the emptiness has something meaningful.

You know that it is true. Your intuition tells you this. You are starting to become more and more interested in this side of life. You explore the unexplored or neglected areas of your life and look for the happiness that you carry inside you.

You discover spirituality.

Universal human spirituality is rooted in our subconscious mind. This is something that distinguishes us from nature. As humans, we are sense seekers. You can’t cut it off. Sooner or later this need will be known. This is the mid-life crisis about, the search for the divine element in yourself.

One of the famous psychologists, Austrian Viktor Frankl said that human doesn’t care only about vegetation. They needs also spiritual existence because they needs to live with sense. He claims that human has three dimensions: biological, mental and spiritual. The last dimension integrates all the areas, determines a goal, sets up priorates and steers endeavors.  

The need for spirituality is inseparable from the need for happiness and safety.

This need is also mentioned by Maslow’s famous pyramid and his need for self-actualization.

Don’t be afraid you are not the first and the last. Searching for the meaning of life is an eternal problem of humanity. Now it’s your turn to find it.

How to find sense during the midlife crises?

Give yourself time. Talk to yourself. After all, it is you who can’t communicate with yourself. It is you who has trouble with yourself. It is you who don’t accept some choices. It has to mature inside you. Don’t fight with yourself and accept all the changes.

Everything will be fine and even better than before. You will see it.


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